Inocencia, al final (Parte I)

As part of an ongoing conversation originated and aptly hosted by someone whose contribution to the world of blogging I admire, I am hereby including my two cents, hoping to move that conversation forward and perhaps start my own right here. The subject matter starts with teens and sex. As I see it, it moves well beyond that, into the society’s perception on sex/sexuality from the cultural and the economic views and how this taints its interactions with its own component individuals and with other societies around the world.

There is a fallacy commonly encountered in the United States that assumes that we are technologically, culturally, and economically more advanced than any other country, that we lead the vanguard and that where we’ve been, others are now going. The inference here is that there is an inevitable path of development, and we are blazing the trail, unrewarded pioneers to the benefit of the backward and underdeveloped rest of the globe. This theory’s proponents see the fall of the Soviet Union as proof positive that American-style capitalism is the way to go; much in the same way that people who see the sidewalk wet are absolutely certain it must have rained—even as I stand, hose in hand and covered in soapy suds, beside my car.

This theory seems to support that a completely unrestrained, unregulated, unfettered (free!) market will naturally resolve all problems, even those not commercial in nature, given enough time and allowing for cyclic fluctuations, adjustments and corrections. Obviously, education would improve, as people soon realize that better-educated children yield more profit. Clearly, there will be sufficient investment in infrastructure, as anyone with eyes will see that a solid foundation is a prerequisite for growth. Evidently, socio-cultural and religious influences will vanish, replaced with common-sense, politically correct, situational ethics under the ongoing framework of the common good and individual success. The world will be a better place. Apple pie. Kumbaya.

A miniscule, well-nigh negligible corollary of this theory suggests that accelerated maturity is a desirable characteristic of youth, whether it is achieved naturally or artificially. We extol the prodigies. Nobody ever told Mr. Fisher to slow down (and see what happened?). Discarding the idea of maturational readiness like so much road kill, we push, we prod, we demand, outright expect a quick end to childhood while simultaneously (and ironically) standardizing our approach to the point of rendering it useless. Children who need baby-sitters are a bother; children who can baby-sit are an asset. Mass marketing requires an asymptotic approach to the elusive common denominator that is universal mediocrity. We want more out of our young, but less out of our adults.

And that is where sex comes in. Biologically, we are mature when we can procreate. The instinctive continuation of the species supercedes ethical, moral, and social directives at some point, but until that point is reached, at least behavior and perhaps even attitudes and beliefs are substantially the result of our upbringing. But the ongoing competition to see who dies with the most toys exacts an ever-higher offering from us of the thing our children most need from us: attention. There isn’t enough time to spend time with them. In a culture that celebrates single-parenting and by virtue of equality has transformed both parents into providers (leaving few if any nurturers), the ones who stand to lose are the ones for whom we are doing it all: ourselves.

I am not a social conservative by any means. I have supported every single point above as it came up for discussion a la carte, only now to realize how they compound, how they aggravated what I did not like in how my parents raised me and like all the less in how my ex-wife and I are raising our children. But we all have excuses: my parents had a war to worry about; so do my ex-wife and I, but of a different nature. I-Pods aren’t cheap, and kids must have them, or other luxuries, and we are bad parents if we don’t provide them--well, maybe not bad, but not great. Toilet paper isn’t getting any cheaper, either, or any of the other necessities. Any step that does not lead to career advancement is financial suicide.

Recently, I read an exchange between somebody in the U.S. and Chile. The general idea began with the Chilean stating that she thought Americans were crazy partly because of their incessant litigation and money-grabbing. The American replied indicating that the United States imported in 2002 about $3.8 billion in Chilean goods, which represented 6% of Chile’s GNP for that year, but only 0.06% for the United States. This means that the American economy is 100 times greater (in dollars, not quality) than the Chilean economy, despite America’s population being only 20 times that of Chile—implying a five-fold in productivity. I will not dispute the numbers here, but I fear there is a price to be paid for such efficiency, and it comes in human lives. Children’s lives. Innocence. We did not stone innocence to death; much like Midas, we buried it in gold.

Let me be clear: I am most positively on the side of the elimination of innocence as quickly as practical and humane for the individual child. However, knowledge does not equal wisdom. We are our children’s conscience. I will further suggest that it does indeed take a village. Much like I tell kids (even my own) that if their parents didn’t teach them manners at home, they’ll get manners beat into them by strangers, I feel this applies to language, virtues, vices. I teach not just my children, but also all those other children who can see me, who can hear me. And mine learn from you. Human behavior is infectious, contagious. Globally, what we do as a country is seen by other countries and absorbed like water by the sands of the Sahara. Might is right. My country right or wrong. Love it or leave it. Apple pie. Kumbaya.

Do you know how many people saw ET? Star Wars? Titanic? Ya think that doesn’t sink in? Now more than ever the idea that acting locally affects global thinking can be interpolated into every blog thread. It’s chaos theory at its weirdest: the elimination of China’s political repression of its citizens indeed depends on my kids not bullying other kids, and not permitting those other kids bullying still more kids. The flapping of the wings by a butterfly in New York can bring about a storm in Kenya. Are there butterflies left in New York?

We talk about teens and sex like it was an isolated phenomenon. I suggest it is intricately linked to the price of grapes in Chile. I can only hope that I am explaining intelligibly enough why I think that teaching my children better vocabulary decreases their chances of promiscuity later. Self-respect, respect of others, respect of the planet, aren’t all these just the same thing? I can hear Dr. Harry Wolper shouting now: Sunombitch, it’s the Big Picture!