En nombre del padre, del hijo...

I do not remember the details of this story; I just don't feel like doing the research. If you want, look them up. It'll do you good.

Many centuries ago, after the Christians had unsuccessfully attempted to take the holy land on a number of occasions, and the Turk had taken Constantinople, they set out one more time. The Christians now gathered an army to take not the holy land, but Constantinople. The Infidel had taken European land and that cannot be allowed. So, off they went.

Now, Constantinople, currently Istanbul, was populated by both Muslims and Christians, both of similar ethnic stock. Just looking at their faces, you couldn’t tell one group from the other. So, when the Christians (white, armored, heavily armed, God-fearing folk looking out only for God’s best interest) got there, they set up a siege, like was so common in those days. Inside, a war started between the Christians, who wanted to throw the gates open, and the Muslim, who thought (rightly enough) their lives were in danger.

Time went by, as often does when there’s nothing to watch on t.v. and there’s a hostile army at the front gates, especially if your neighbor’s also trying to kill you. Eventually, the Christians inside the city won, and threw open the gates to welcome their “saviors.” But the saviors came in to find a bunch of brown people oddly dressed—some of whom claimed to be Christian. Well, everybody knows Christians have fair skin, light eyes, and questionable personal hygiene (or they did then), so they threw all the brown folk into pens.

The #2 guy at the time, having successfully gathered up all the little brown ones, came to the #1 guy and told him (I paraphrase): “we got ‘em. What now?”

The #1 guy thought about this for a while, realizing how difficult it would be to separate them, and feed them in the meantime. So, in his infinite, divinely-inspired wisdom, he told the #2 guy (I paraphrase): “Kill them all. God will recognize his own.”

So they did.

Things haven’t gotten much better since.

UPDATE: goes to show you how little I know. This is actually from the Albigensian Crusade, and the poor fools allegedly murdered by order of the papal envoy were French, from Bezier. Turns out it was Christians against Christians. How odd!